yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
