hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
