The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
