I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize