we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
