Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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