how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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