and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize