we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Randomize
