So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I think i peed on brittanys purse
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
