We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
My friends, they love my intelligence
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
