and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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