Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
