I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
