I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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