he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
