official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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