Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Can Purell be used as lube?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
