Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
