just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I touched a dick in church today
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
