yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
