butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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