I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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