Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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