I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
