worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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