y did u give ur computer a hand job?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Randomize