Welp...herpes.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
