ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
