I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
