Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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