who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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