If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
