i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Randomize
