fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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