I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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