i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
When did angry sex become our thing?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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