was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
