when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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