talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
