He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
