you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
