uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
