and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
