What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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