I hope mine doesn't look like that
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
