Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Everything about him screamed your future.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize