So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
