a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
