So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
