the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize