I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
