addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
