my phone needs a breathalizer
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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