Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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