that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
