THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
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