you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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