I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize